THE CYCLE OF THE SOUL
Part II
The Spiritual Life

Jozef Rulof

World Wide Web version
© 2014 'De Eeuw van Christus'

Once more I was back in the place where I was born. Here my investigations would begin. I immediately recognized my surroundings, for here the years of my youth were spent. I was in the forest where I had played with Marianne. Before me I saw the grave of my parents. All I saw were two skeletons of which I knew whose they were. I would not spill one tear here, I did not feel the necessity for it. These skeletons were as strange to me as they had been when they were alive and happy. What is a human being? And how much mischief he can cause! How strong he is and how mean, but at the time how stupid! Here in front of me rested that earthly intellect. These skeletons belonged to those who had intended to make a ruler out of me. They had ruled but did it too well.

‘Rest in peace, all is forgiven and I do not bear you any grudge but love you for you did not realize what you were doing. You acted as small children would do.’

Now they were dead, life had vanished, and I knew where it lived. God loved us, but we did not love Him. Man cursed his God and destroyed one another. Dead and yet alive, children of eternity! They would come back on earth again, but probably separately. This meeting again was so mighty, that I could thank God for it; I could not cry, but sent them my loving thoughts. They really did not know any better. Wealthy they had been, but poor in feelings. What was earthly wealth? My parents had never lived as they should have. Many more parents I had and only now did I begin to realize what fatherand motherhood meant. Farewell, children of eternity, God bless your pathways!

For a long time I lingered on this spot, but I felt that I should move on. On the place where Marianne had lived I sensed that Emschor was connecting me. At the same instant I began to see and Marianne appeared before me. It was during that time of my life when I was leaving my home. That very same day, they had to leave also. They were sent away and I understood that scene. I clearly saw that they were getting ready to move. They were under suspicion of having corrupted me. They were fortunate to have escaped the torture chamber. God had protected them, like He did me. But still I felt a different working in it. Was my feeling correct? Ah, it could not be else.

‘Master’, I said, for it was he who had protected them from that fate, ‘how can I thank you, how powerful you are.’

Poor people! Soon they were ready and moved away to an other village or city. I followed them. Again I was connected with the past. The love I felt for Marianne today was already in me as a child. She too felt as I did, we both searched and longed for that one great and holy love. But still we were non-conscious, for the past lay deeply buried within us. My love grew with every step that took them further away from my parental home. The thoughts that were in her mind at that time came up in me. With childish simplicity she loved me. How miraculous was this connection. Her parents were sad that they had to leave, but also they were glad that they had escaped with their lives. In another place, a small village this time, they pitched their tents to start a new life.

One picture followed after another, I saw Marianne growing up and as she grew her character and personality developed. Her parents watched with some fear, as signs of frivolous behaviour showed through. She was a graceful appearance with a great and strong feeling for art. She also had a lovely voice. As she grew older these qualities became more conscious and I heard her wonderful singing which sent vibrations deep into my soul. I saw that she left home when she was twenty-one. Silently she stole away into the wide world to gather fame and honours. In her being lay the intellect of former lives. All those powers and gifts were becoming conscious; and she built on them to develop her voice. In her was the strong will to make something beautiful of her art. She was striving for the one goal I also had worked to attain: Fame, happiness and love. Our paths were one, which was remarkable.

From my place here I followed her life from city to city. She threw herself from one flighty affair into another. Still she remained simple, her parentage and birth could not be denied. This bit of humanity brought her in the most unpleasant situations, and through her recklessness she learned all about life. It brought her nothing but sadness and grief. Her beauty brought her into temptation and it provided her earthly happiness and recreation.

And so the years flew by. But she too kept on searching and could not find what she so dearly longed for. An unknown force of which she knew, felt or understood nothing, drove her to one place. How is it possible, I thought. I felt that she was being directed towards me, propelled by force of the past, a cosmic law of which the people on earth understood nothing. Here I felt and saw that law in action. I saw that she settled in my neighbourhood, close by. Oh, if I had only known! It now became clear to me that mankind was being pushed forward by invisible powers. But those powers and forces originated and had received their connection in the past and then merged in one another, only to be torn apart, yet to be joined again later. Enormous was this view into the depths of the past that was granted me. How different everything would have been, had I only met her sooner. However, nothing could be changed here any more. It had to happen.

Now I understood why all those thoughts had come to me when I started working on her statue. From afar she had influenced me, though she had done so unwittingly. Neither had I been aware of it, but still we had been in contact. In that I saw inspiration from a distance and understood that I was being lived by her. These laws were so very deep that no artist on earth was aware of them. I had sculpted the one I loved and she lived nearby. It was almost unbelievable, I thought, but I had to accept it. How intense were the human thoughts! I wanted to learn all these powers and this I would not forget. At that time I had thought of her day and night. I now understood everything, it was remarkable.

I turned back to her own life and saw that she was exactly like the other women I had known and had I met her in that situation I would have turned away at once and left her. I thanked God that I had been spared that, it would have ruined my love for her.

Was this Marianne? I now also understood her reluctance and her begging me not to ask about her life, because she had good reasons for it. Yet I loved her for she was mine. One day we would be joined for ever. My cycle on earth was coming to an end and hers would end too. Sooner or later we would be that far and then we would be one eternally. Now that I knew how my life had been I could forgive her anything. Something held us bound together and that was the past. It was shown to me in ancient Egypt and I was very grateful for that.

How beautiful my Marianne was! Her golden-blond curls, the healthy colour of her face and the sparkling eyes gave her this beauty. But what is a human being who does not know himself and forgets himself? What is earthly beauty when the inner feelings remain centred on the material life? She forgot herself, because she did not know herself. Some time in an other life she would come to know herself. Now I realized that she needed to return, for in that life she would awaken. But how deep was everything now that I knew and fully understood this.

What is a human, when he defiles these forces of nature and dishonours his wondrous body. I felt that not only as a curse, but it also showed scorn for Him, his God, Who had given him that magnificent body. It was already an enormous blessing to have a body like this for many were maimed and crippled.

My friend Roni I hated for he defiled his wonderful body. He was like an adonis, but inside like an animal. Marianne had given herself to him, she was pampered, but also jeered at and ridiculed. Others desecrated her beauty which had been sacred to me. No, in that time we did not belong together, we would not have understood each other. She could not feel the greatness of my love, only God knew that the time had not come yet, and so, what was necessary had happened. Marianne would not – and I saw and felt that only this moment – have been able to give me that highest of inspirations and that would have been a shock to me if I had experienced it. Today I thanked God that I had not met her sooner! Roni I could now forgive, I did not hate him any more and Marianne I loved, she was my twin soul and he had become my brother. With Marianne I felt myself one of soul and we would remain that for all eternity. This was a cosmic law, God willed it, in the universe it was decreed. The depth of this enigma I could not yet sense fully, but I accepted, for this feeling of longing lay in me.

When she had lived in such close proximity to me, she had also thought of her youth and her love for me had awakened. Yet she presumed she had found that love in Roni, but this was not the case. I was now confronted with an enormous problem, as I sensed that the three of us were connected. This spiritual puzzle fitted closely together and our connection became even more intense. Three souls were on earth for a set purpose and would meet one another there again. Whatever happened we could not escape it, for it was a law and we had to live through that law. I felt myself tremble for it was all so miraculous. To one particular spot on this large earth we were sent to meet each other again. Such it was, for it had happened to Roni, Marianne and me.

To thousands of people something similar happened, but only on this side could they learn about these laws. Here in this life miracles and wonders dissolved, we merged with them. It was mighty to be able to follow all this. Besides I understood that each of us had to live his own life, but that there was one situation that concerned all three of us. We came into contact with many other beings and through the people we learned about life on earth. We did right and wrong, which began to change our characters. From ‘animal’ to human, from spirit to God, that was the road man had to go. In the earthly body the soul lived it up, but still the earthly life served to acquire spiritual knowledge, pure and spiritual love. The one learned through the other, but all those people were guided and governed by one power, and that was God, the Creator of man, animal and all the other life. In man lay his destination, a flame that burned eternally, but which man let go out. Man had, as I saw and felt all this, received the highest of all, but that holy love had to be earned. Roni and I and also Marianne would be connected. Some day Roni would receive his own love, like every other human being. I could not fathom the power that had brought us together, but I did not desire it for I felt awe. For something so great we must bow our heads.

Suddenly again I thought of her condition, she carried life. A young being was inside of her when I was taken to my dungeon. Had she carried this young being to the end? Pictures followed one after another and faded out. Then I saw the scene where she came to visit me in my dungeon and after that the picture where I was sentenced and she was ill. At the instant I saw this, I received the answer to what I had just thought about. No, the shock had been too great. The young life inside of her had returned to where it had come from. Thank God, I thought. Still, had it been necessary, I would now have surrendered myself to everything. These truths for mankind were so strong, they strengthened the soul, because man knew why and wherefore that man renounced everything.

In the next picture I saw that Marianne had recovered from her illness. What were her plans now? I stayed with her and saw that she went back to my studio to accept what I had offered her. Her own statue and mine that I once had made for myself, as well as many other pieces were carefully packed and so began her journey. Where would she go? I soon guessed where she was heading. This was the best possible solution, since her life and mine were shattered. Broken of heart and spirit she returned to her parents. She had bowed her head and come back humbly, she had laid off her frivolousness. She had taken all of my possessions with her and many statues received a place close near her. Her parents were overjoyed and received their child with open arms.

The rest of Marianne’s life was spent in solitude and silence. Her personality had received a severe shock, but to me she gave her love. She felt for me what I felt for her. In nature, outside, she became conscious. Living had broken her heart, but had awoken something in her innermost feelings that came to me in my cell and shook awake my desires. I had yearned for her, it had consumed me and these thoughts too had been hers. Again I saw and felt the miracle of the power of thought. Love knew no distances for we were one without realizing. We only had to awaken, so that our love would grow more lovely and conscious and blossom into something wondrous and exalted. Only then it would be spiritual, then our love was pure and would reach even further than sister- and brotherlove. You see, I saw and learned that only now, now that the past was being revealed to me and the veil over an event was lifted. The silence I had felt in my dungeon had been her silence. Outside in nature her love had developed, her surroundings were the past, for near her stood her own statue with beside it mine. For hours she dwelled in this spot and talked to me.

‘If only my soul was as white’, I heard her say, ‘as this snow-white marble out of which he modelled me. Lantos, my Lantos, oh, how you must suffer! Can you forgive me? When you know everything, will you still love me? If God listens to me, He knows that I only love you and always loved you. Lantos, can you be mine? Oh, how I long for you. What is it that you have laid down in me? I feel your silence, all your grief and suffering and yet I cannot and may not visit you. Over there you are all alone, you suffer and are broken. I feel it, oh, I know it for I see you in my dream. Sometimes I feel you very close, but then again you shake me off and do not want to have anything to do with me. Therefore, my Lantos, I ask you, do you love me? Oh, how I could love you! I shall await my death and then I can tell you everything. You will not live very long. May God give you the strength to stand it all. I am your misfortune, I am the cause that led to your undoing, but yet I ask God forgiveness. Lantos, Lantos, forgive me!

Then she collapsed. How I loved her! Tears were running down my cheeks. Love, my God, how beautiful, how sacred is that pure feeling. In her statue and in my own she sensed my love for her. Her yearning for this mighty bliss became ever more intense. She was longing and for that I had prayed when she came to visit me in my dungeon and this longing dominated her life. Whatever she thought of, one emotional force ruled everything and it was a burning feeling, the desire to be allowed to possess love. But only the love that gives support, that feels the pure joy, only after that she hankered. Did she feel she was waking up?

The years passed and she pined away. Other pictures now succeeded each other and I saw that her parents passed over one after the other. Marianne now was alone. Her material body shrivelled and her strength diminished every day, but her inner feelings grew. Ever stronger and more beautiful it became, for that is what her love did. Yet she reached a ripe old age and was only a shadow of her former beauty. In this way her end approached. In her will she requested to be buried with my statue and hers. She was convinced that she would have to appear before her God, for now she had a strong faith. Next I saw her deathbed, in all silence she passed over. Her last thoughts were for me, for she too believed that she would once see me again.

No, Marianne, I thought, our time is not yet there. We will see each other again, but only centuries later. She went over, but in her rested the desire to be granted this great wish. And her earthly life was past too.

Some day our statues will be recovered. Some day, for I see that they have not been found yet. Then mankind can cast a glance into the past. At this moment I could make you a prediction, but I know people would not accept it. No, man of the earth, you still cannot believe the deep significance of what you will lay bare in the depth of the earth. I beg you, however, have love for what you excavate, do not condemn it for you do not know how much that human being had to suffer once. Have respect for what you uncover, then the human being who now lives somewhere else will not be disturbed. I know how long it will take, still, but they will find us; though the past will not be shown to you. A dense veil, which is our love, will cover it. One day when we have received this mighty happiness our statues will be found. But then we shall belong with the beings of light and have entered those spheres. Then our condition will be natural and nature gives this life back. Then the past becomes conscious, it lives on in reality and goes onward to still higher regions, as my master told me. And I can put my trust in that, you and thousands of others can build on it; always remember that these are no castles in the air but the sacred truth, for it is your inner life. Only there souls will be joined, for by then a person accepts all this and bows his head and all the ‘why’s’ and ‘wherefore’s’ will dissolve for him. He will experience them and then his problems and wonders are no problems and wonders any longer. We are these ourselves, it is our inner and eternal life.

A long time I remained in thought at the edge of her grave. Within me I felt a sacred band and there was consciousness in me too. This occurrence gave me the strength to continue. Now I would begin to do work on myself, I wanted to learn about life on earth and on this side.

I looked up in the beautiful face of my master and said: ‘Thank you, my father of centuries ago, I love you.’

‘I am leaving now, Lantos.’

‘Is it time already?’ I asked.

‘Yes, Lantos, we must part. You go your own way, but know that I watch over you and will always do so. Think of your love, for this love gives you the strength to bear your cross. Save all this deep inside of you and wait patiently until it is God’s will that you receive it. When Marianne came into our life, she thought that she would see you, but you know that she must return and only after that will you meet each other. One day that time will come! Try to master that kind of love. You are searching and wanting to do the right things, always continue to look for the good things, then I shall await you in the spheres of light, so that we can go on with our work. You will then experience new wonders again, greater and deeper than you have met up to now. I am preparing myself in the spheres of light to receive you. Know, my boy, that many will be awaiting you there. When you will be that far, I shall call you.’

Then I felt his hand on my shoulder and a large light shone over and around me. Before my eyes that light rose upwards slowly, then it went higher and higher until I could not see it any more.

Still, spoken from afar I heard: ‘Farewell, my Lantos, as you see we go always higher. Farewell, God bless your ways. Your Emschor.’

I was deeply shocked and sank to the ground. On Marianne’s grave I had collapsed with tears streaming down my cheeks. My love for her was real and deeply human. The great love of my master, who had just departed, had made that love grow. I prayed fervently and long to God for our love. My master was gone and I was quite alone again, for I would have to miss him for a long time. My why’s and wherefore’s had been solved. The past had become conscious in me and a God of love I now knew. I made a decision. I wanted to study all those transitions of the spirit for I wanted to know everything, just everything about this life.